Brendan has been a foster carer for the past 11 years, and started fostering when he was only 26 years old.
Based in Glasgow, he now cares for two little girls aged 8 months and 6 years old. Brendan shared with us what it’s like to foster as a single person, as well as all of the amazing things which have come from his decision to foster.
Getting started with fostering
Brendan and his husband at the time first came to fostering after exploring the various options they had in planning for their family’s future. Brendan said:
“My then husband and I were looking into ways to grow our family and welcome kids into our home, and we ultimately decided that fostering was the right choice for us. We loved that by fostering we’d be helping out kids who really needed loving caregivers. We were so young at the time, and I remember worrying that our young age might hold us back in some way, or that fostering agencies would say we didn’t have the right experience given that we hadn’t raised children before. I also worried there might be some stigma around us being male carers, and around us being a gay couple. Thankfully, I was wrong to worry about any of those factors – we were welcomed with open arms.”
“Since then, my then husband and I have parted ways, and we decided that the best thing for us to was to continue fostering as single carers. I never imagined I’d be fostering solo, but over the past 11 years I have had the privilege of caring for 16 children from all different backgrounds and in all different placement types, including emergency, short breaks and long-term fostering. I’ve had the joy of seeing kids grow up and mature, and go on to achieve incredible things like becoming strong, capable adults and starting at university. Currently I’m caring for two little girls – one is 6 and the other is less than a year old. Ours is a busy house, and that’s just the way we like it!”
Balancing a busy life as a single foster carer
“Fostering is non-stop, and you need a good team around you if you’re going to foster successfully as a single person,” Brendan said, reflecting on the help he’s received from his support network over the years. “First of all, I have help from the team at Fosterplus.
“The team is phenomenal, and there’s always someone at the end of the phone. You get plenty of training, too, both online and in person, and I’ve built a fantastic relationship with my Supervising Social Worker, who I very much see as a friend.
“I love getting involved to help other foster carers, too, and having that network of other foster families is especially important when you’re fostering as a single person. We’re all a big family and we get together for different events. Everybody knows everyone.”
“My own family have also been a big part of my fostering journey; especially my mum. The children I’ve cared for have always seen her as their Gran, and they absolutely adore her. When you’ve got good people around you, you really can achieve anything. Having my family on the scene means I can also still put aside time to pursue my hobbies and passions, too – for me, that’s my love for musical theatre.”
Advice for those interested in fostering
We asked Brendan what advice he would give to his younger self if he could go back in time to the beginning of his fostering journey. He said:
“The biggest thing I would tell myself is to just be patient. Be patient with the process of becoming a foster parent, because it can take quite some time, usually around 4-6 months, and know that you have an amazing future ahead. I’d also say to be patient with myself; you live a busy life as a foster carer, and it’s important to care for your mental health, even if that’s as small as taking five minutes to take a walk or grab a coffee.”
“I was only 26 when I started fostering, but if I could go back, I’d encourage myself to start even earlier. Fostering has been the most rewarding thing ever, and if I were to sum up my experience in just one word, it would be incredible. Advocating for the children you welcome into your home and making a difference – not just to their day-to-day lives but to their future outcomes – is just incredible.
“I couldn’t imagine not being a carer now. I live and breathe it every day. It’s an absolute joy to help children, and to anyone who wants that for themselves, I’d encourage you to go ahead and pursue it.”
Could you foster?
We love sharing the stories of incredible people like Brendan, who are making a difference to children’s lives each and every day. Check out our blog to hear more stories from real-life foster carers.
People from all backgrounds are welcome to foster, regardless of your sexuality, relationship status, whether you’re a young person looking for a rewarding career or if you’re well into your retirement. So long as you have the love, time and energy to dedicate to a child, you could be a great candidate to foster with Fosterplus. Reach out to our team today!
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